more journey - the never-ending story
There are times when I am certain which path to take, but the majority of the time I am sure that the one I'm in now is exactly where I am supposed to be. Where I am at now seems perfect, however; I am continuously aware of all the aches and pains of my past that has led me to where I am today. Past, present, and future seems to be all we have, and I understand that the present, here and now, is all that truly matters. To not go into the past and to not keep looking forward into the future seems rather impossible right now.
As I continue with being truthful, to me, I see the truth hidden amongst many words of what is ideal, not necessarily true, existing only in the mind. Positive, optimistic, usually, not the truth, yet, has the benefit of being a great tool for becoming enlightened. But not to disregard the negative, pessimistic, and acknowledge the deep truth inside of us. Awareness is the key to deepen all emotion. Osho says, "If it is a poisonous emotion, you are relieved of it through awareness. If it is good, blissful, ecstatic, you become one with it. Awareness deepens it." When an emotion is negative it simply dissolves. When it is positive, it expands and spreads and becomes your being.
People today tell me about how I inspire them. My take on that is about my willingness to be healthy and alive with a determination to exist on earth. That means to me is to be grounded, my feet planted, and my soul soaring without a desire to achieve anything specific. As I write, I stop to take a look at the truth. A lot of my take on what I am is without acceptance of what is already there. I discover that there are many ways to be an inspiration and writing feels good for me. Do I desire anything from it? Yes, I do.
I have always did sports; gymnastics, basketball, volleyball, yoga, and whatever was on the physical level. I was strong and flexible, however; there was not much attention given to my mental and emotional health.
I feel free when my mind is clean, my breath aware, and my body capable to do all that I can without resistance from my ego. Freedom has not been easy. Freedom implies independence; something I've always honored, but have not always had, a surprise to many I'm sure. In the first months in the hospital, I was not able to recall anything; the swelling of my left brain made it impossible to process a thing, except feelings. I was trapped in my body with no desire to be free. My mind wasn't capable of knowing what I needed. Hence, bliss.
Today, I am free. When I look at it from the aspect of being obligated, I see that there are unwritten contracts in my life with my friends, family, and clients. Of course, there appears to be no freedom with that thought. I am okay with that thought, no freedom, because I feel obligated to everyone to share my story, my experience, my journey, with the hope that it will affect people in a way that will benefit them to the point of healing consciously, as I continue to heal me.
"Healers are introspective, cooperative, informative, and attentive. Their tranquil and reserved exterior masks a passionate inner life. Healers care deeply about causes that interest them, and they often pursue those causes with selfless devotion. They are highly compassionate and empathetic to the needs of others, seeking to bring peace, health, and integrity to their companions and to society at large. They want to heal the problems that trouble individuals and correct the conflicts that divide social groups."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Healer_%28Role_Variant%29
My idea of freedom is peace, love, and compassion. The peace is within, "Don't let anybody steal your peace." Bikram stated that and he also said that it is up to you to be peaceful. It is up to you how you deal with it. We are caught in judgment; we have many opinions about people we don't know, but more importantly, we judge ourselves, sometimes harshly. We are not very nice to ourselves and we tell stories in our heads all the time. Accepting who we are today, not worrying about any past experience or what may happen, is easy because it doesn't exist! Just in our minds, is these stories and an imagination that runs wild like the wind. If we get caught up in that, there is no peace or freedom. But, if we stay connected to the truth, we can truly become the master to our own story. See through those lies we are telling ourselves and become the person you are and always have intended to be.
The past is there to remind me who I was, or at least who I thought I was. When I look back at my life in 2008, there were many unanswered questions. This is very true as December 18th grew closer; there are many blanks in my memories. One thing I know for sure is that it does not matter anymore. Today, I now know that I can be the person I always wanted to be. I can choose my thoughts and experience them daily. I love my never-ending story.
As I continue with being truthful, to me, I see the truth hidden amongst many words of what is ideal, not necessarily true, existing only in the mind. Positive, optimistic, usually, not the truth, yet, has the benefit of being a great tool for becoming enlightened. But not to disregard the negative, pessimistic, and acknowledge the deep truth inside of us. Awareness is the key to deepen all emotion. Osho says, "If it is a poisonous emotion, you are relieved of it through awareness. If it is good, blissful, ecstatic, you become one with it. Awareness deepens it." When an emotion is negative it simply dissolves. When it is positive, it expands and spreads and becomes your being.
People today tell me about how I inspire them. My take on that is about my willingness to be healthy and alive with a determination to exist on earth. That means to me is to be grounded, my feet planted, and my soul soaring without a desire to achieve anything specific. As I write, I stop to take a look at the truth. A lot of my take on what I am is without acceptance of what is already there. I discover that there are many ways to be an inspiration and writing feels good for me. Do I desire anything from it? Yes, I do.
I have always did sports; gymnastics, basketball, volleyball, yoga, and whatever was on the physical level. I was strong and flexible, however; there was not much attention given to my mental and emotional health.
I feel free when my mind is clean, my breath aware, and my body capable to do all that I can without resistance from my ego. Freedom has not been easy. Freedom implies independence; something I've always honored, but have not always had, a surprise to many I'm sure. In the first months in the hospital, I was not able to recall anything; the swelling of my left brain made it impossible to process a thing, except feelings. I was trapped in my body with no desire to be free. My mind wasn't capable of knowing what I needed. Hence, bliss.
Today, I am free. When I look at it from the aspect of being obligated, I see that there are unwritten contracts in my life with my friends, family, and clients. Of course, there appears to be no freedom with that thought. I am okay with that thought, no freedom, because I feel obligated to everyone to share my story, my experience, my journey, with the hope that it will affect people in a way that will benefit them to the point of healing consciously, as I continue to heal me.
"Healers are introspective, cooperative, informative, and attentive. Their tranquil and reserved exterior masks a passionate inner life. Healers care deeply about causes that interest them, and they often pursue those causes with selfless devotion. They are highly compassionate and empathetic to the needs of others, seeking to bring peace, health, and integrity to their companions and to society at large. They want to heal the problems that trouble individuals and correct the conflicts that divide social groups."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Healer_%28Role_Variant%29
My idea of freedom is peace, love, and compassion. The peace is within, "Don't let anybody steal your peace." Bikram stated that and he also said that it is up to you to be peaceful. It is up to you how you deal with it. We are caught in judgment; we have many opinions about people we don't know, but more importantly, we judge ourselves, sometimes harshly. We are not very nice to ourselves and we tell stories in our heads all the time. Accepting who we are today, not worrying about any past experience or what may happen, is easy because it doesn't exist! Just in our minds, is these stories and an imagination that runs wild like the wind. If we get caught up in that, there is no peace or freedom. But, if we stay connected to the truth, we can truly become the master to our own story. See through those lies we are telling ourselves and become the person you are and always have intended to be.
The past is there to remind me who I was, or at least who I thought I was. When I look back at my life in 2008, there were many unanswered questions. This is very true as December 18th grew closer; there are many blanks in my memories. One thing I know for sure is that it does not matter anymore. Today, I now know that I can be the person I always wanted to be. I can choose my thoughts and experience them daily. I love my never-ending story.
Comments
It is simple. Our minds start to spin with thoughts that have no truth, only fear and judgment. It is up to us to discern what is truth and what is an illusion.
The reality is clear when you are clear. This is impossible at times. When there is an obstacle, it is time to be grateful for being shown a path that you may be uncomfortable with. I have many of these obstacles in my life, and my feeling is to ask for help, because we are not alone.
My suggestion is to let go of being alone. We are one. You are that distant candle, You are peace. You are everything.